Can’t Cope Anymore

More and more I am hearing statements like this and I’m not talking about general comments, I mean I’m losing my mind, I can’t cope anymore statements.

There are believers out there who say we need to feel secure in somethings but not secure in others so we keep learning and moving forward. While there are merits for this it’s hard to say how much you need of each as we perceive the same events differently.

For the next few minutes try to detach your emotions and think on this. What exactly can you not cope with? If it’s more than one thing make a list, using facts not emotions. It sounds easy, well then do it. Your losing control but making a list is not worth trying?

Ok, statistically I could tell you what percentage has made a list but it wouldn’t help. When you have made your list using facts not emotion you may be surprised on at least some of them. Humans have a habit of looking at the worst possible outcome then just for the hell of it we add our problems together and make new horrible images in our minds and we say this is my life.

Unfortunately this can lead into other problems or trigger them, like panic attack, depression and anxiety. Our brains can’t distinguish between a vivid fantasy and reality. So male or female, if you work yourself into a state and see and feel this hell scenario your mind can believe that it’s true.

See all or nothing thinking.

Think back over the years of the horrors we thought were coming and for the fast majority of us they didn’t come to pass. For some we have lost children, been given terminal diagnosis so we know how bad it can get.

For most of us we can see what we fantasised about didn’t come true. Now imagine an individual, male or female, always smiling, knowing the world will provide. They see a great future, great job, great relationship and a great life full of adventure and fun. What name would you call them in your own head?

Most of what they dream about probably won’t come true but there happy. Most of what the negative thinker thinks about probably won’t come true and there out of control and miserable.

Both are unrealistic views of life but with different side effects. Look at your list and take each point separately and see can you do something to improve it. Move to make the change and keep notes of it. This helps when you have bad days. Next make a list of things in your life you do control and then things that put a smile on your face.

When you start taking action on some items you will find they move to the other list. You may not like them but you do control them.

Take small steps, one item at a time and you will see what a few weeks can do to changing your life. Have a look at the other posts on this website and if you have a question feel free to ask.

Feeling Down all the Time

As humans we have emotions and if we look at periods of our lives we can see we have good and bad patches. Now if you examine any patch good or bad and to use the expression “put it under a microscope” you will find you had good and bad things happen to you.

In other words our emotions are going to rise and fall and sometimes it’s like a rollercoaster, climbing – climbing – climbing to be followed by a white knuckle plummet and this is normal. If we are wise we learn from our mistakes and bad luck as well as from our successes and good luck.

Unfortunately we can get stuck in a pattern where we perceive that it’s all negative or bad. This can just be a negative pattern of thinking, not only is my glass half empty but it also has a crack.

Just for a moment think back to your childhood, was one or both of your parents or guardians a negative thinker? Did they put you down “for your on good” to motivate you? Maybe, maybe not!

Did you have or still have an over powering friend or relationship? For more see, Can’t let go of a relationship. You get the idea of where to look in your past or maybe did you do something you’re not proud off? You would be amazed how many people’s lives can be affected and destroyed over some of these things.

In hypnotherapy we help people forgive themselves all the time and this just unloads so much pressure and weight from their shoulders. We also help people change by desensitising past events and help you change the meaning of them which changes the emotion which comes from the memory.

You have the right to be happy and have a great live, yes there will be falls and knocks but that’s life. I’m going to quote a film, Batman begins – Why do we fall? So we can learn to pick ourselves up!

I love that way of thinking and I think a great lesson for children.

Look around at children, they fall and get back up. They might cry and act as if there dying and then they are of running again. So maybe it’s time to follow suit, leave the past where it is, if you need help then we can help you. Call to book an appointment!

If you could start afresh tomorrow morning and just see the world differently, what would it be like? Feeling good inside, looking forward to something. If you felt that way would your future look brighter, of course it would. So you need to figure out how to get from where you are to where you want to be.

If you think my life is bad but if I try to change it might get worse, flip it around and think if I don’t change what it will cost me. Think about prolonged unhappiness, worry, feeling down, could this lead to anxiety and depression. You are too special too important for that type of life. There is only one of you among billions, that’s unique! There are ways to change, find one that works for you and live the life you want.

Panic Attacks in the Heat

As I write this Ireland is in the middle of a heat wave and while some people love it others struggle. So while some people are going around with their shirts off and lapping in every ray they can others feel as if the heat is confining and oppressive. Almost as if the air had a thickness making them feel closed in.

To make it worse the air itself is hot so when you want freshness all you get is cloying heat. I know it’s easy to say some people are never happy, it’s too hot, it’s too cold etc. but we are all different and we like and feel comfortable in different environments.

Problems can arise if you suffer from panic attacks or anxiety as these conditions can make you feel closed in and trapped. The same would apply if you are claustrophobic but if you examine any of them it comes down to a feeling of being out of control.

Before I give you some tips what you need to do is to see someone to remove the problem once and for all. I’m speaking from experience and I went down the medication route and finally got help through hypnotherapy. It’s one of the reasons why I trained as a hypnotherapist, so I could help others.

I know some people try to help but when they tell you they know how you feel and you know they haven’t got a clue it can be maddening (I’m being polite).

To get rid of most of these problems it will involve an intake, a meeting where we get all the details and then 4 to 6 therapeutic sessions. With Irish Hypnosis Dun Laoghaire each session is paid on the day so no lump payment is required. Call us and see what we can do for you!

OK, until you get help you will still need to get from A to B so how can you do that. For me air conditioning made a big difference but if you don’t have it or even if you do having a cold drink with you can help.

Put it in the fridge the night before and take it with you when you leave. If need be you can put it to your forehead or the back of your neck. This can help as it can trigger a drowning reflex (sounds promising I know) this can slow your heart rate so helps with one of the common symptoms.

Plan your route so if you feel unwell you know where you can go or even sit on a bench or wall and drink your drink, do something on your phone and most people won’t even look twice at you.

Ill post a mindfulness video of a technique that can help but the these are just ways to deal with a problem. The best way is to get rid of the problem in the first place. Then all you have to deal with is family, friends, relationships, work, I think I’ll stop there! In other words we have enough going on without panic attacks.

How to Relieve Stress – Relaxation Offer

50% off Relaxation Session

We are running a half price offer at the moment on a full hour relaxation session. Call Now to make an appointment! This is a full hypnotherapy session, not a taster or some fluff.

When you come in we will have a quick chat where I will answer any and all questions to remove any worries you may have on hypnosis. I will then gently bring you into a lovely state of hypnosis where you will feel so relaxed and at peace.

While you’re feeling relaxed and at peace we start the therapy and help you to reduce your stress and increase your relaxation. We help you to see the challenges in the world somewhat differently so they don’t affect you as much or if all depending on what they are.

Have you ever wondered why something affects you while others aren’t even aware of any difficultly? Maybe the reverse is true for you as well?

Stress is normal and natural but when we allow it to take over it can have catastrophic effects on our mental and physical health. Isn’t it time to let go of some of it and move on with your life without that weight on your shoulders?

Maybe you have thought of hypnosis before but you had some doubts or listened to people who in all truth probably have no idea what their talking about. Wouldn’t this be a great way to see if this would suit you with a 50% off offer on a relaxation session?

Even if your problems are more series this would be a great way to find out what hypnosis is and if it is right for you.

Clinical Hypnotherapy is 100% safe! It’s about giving you back control and you will not be asleep! You will be in control of what you do and what you say and with a simple thought you can bring yourself out of hypnosis. Call Now for an appointment.

Have you ever gone for a massage to be told you hold your holding stress in certain muscles? It has been proven many times that when we have a thought it has a corresponding physical affect. So if you’re feeling stressed it will have a physical affect so with that in mind wouldn’t it be better to learn to deal with stress so it has a minimum affect.

If you have regular massages or practice yoga or any other similar program just think of the level you could reach if you went without the level of stress you have now? Life is to be lived and enjoyed but for far too many of us, it’s just endured.

End Stress and feel Happy

Its not hard to think that we have to strive for something to make us happy. Wheather its a new relaxation technique or enlightenment course but the truth is very simple. Maybe that’s the problem, in this life we seem to like the hidden, the mysterious.

If I was to tell you about this 2 thousand year old technique that helped bring enlightenment to an ancient and wise people but the information was only for the elite and that’s how it was lost over time but now it has been rediscovered. The good news its only bla bla bla and you too can find happiness.

Id know id make sales because I’m marketing in a way that would give you hope but only if you buy the product. You want something, I can supply it for a price.

I want you to think about a time that you were really happy. Maybe with your parents or your own children. Maybe out with your friends when you were distracted by them or the fun you were having. Did you need anything to be happy?

No, when all the baggage we carry was forgotten we were happy. So maybe we shouldn’t spend our lives looking outwards but inwards. What is making you unhappy? Well if you get rid of what makes you unhappy what would that leave you feeling?

If your one of those people that will say but what makes me unhappy is something I have to do then maybe you need to take a closer look at that or choose to look at it from a different angle. Our emotions are perceived reactions to stimulus.

If your late and the car in front of you is going to slow then their an idiot, to them your the mad person up their bumper. There are many examples of how people see the same situation differently from their own perspectives. In other words, when you see it differently you feel different.

Sometimes this can be difficult to workout by yourself if the pain is from a long time ago but with hypnosis its not hard and if you want the change and will work with the therapist then is relatively quick.

Even for something like depression its only around six sessions so if its only something small but has you going in circles it may only be one or two sessions. For more see our home page Dun Laoghaire Hypnosis.

All or nothing thinking

As you can see in the other post the way we think or perceive things affects what we do, how we do it and when we interact with other people the outcome from that. So if you know someone who is an all or nothing person or black and white thinker or maybe it’s you, what does this cost you?

For more see our home page Dun Laoghaire Hypnosis.

Well let’s take a simple relationship, if you think this way, well when you put forward an idea your idea is right. You wouldn’t waste your time putting forward an idea that’s wrong so the simple intelligent thing for others to do is to do it your way. Anyone one with have a brain could see that, it’s not complicated.

Now how would you feel if you or someone who thought that way was told no, I know I much better way of doing it. Can you imagine the challenge that person feels now? What if it’s a loved one? When you see life in black and white or absolutes a simple discussion about directions can lead into a major augment. They may get angry or hurt and the other person is just taken aback at something they place no importance on looking at what can look like a hissy fit.

You just embarrassed me in front of our friends, how dare you try to make me look foolish in front of them. The common reply is, you don’t need me to make you look like that. It can be very difficult to live with someone who is like this but it can also be hard to live with others when you feel this way. But the question always comes back to why do I feel this way. Why does it have to be black or white, this way or the highway.

There can be a few answers but if you examine it, why is it so bad to be wrong? If you’re wrong why are you always wrong? Why get angry or hurt when someone wants to do it a different way?

What happened in your life, early childhood that would cause these feelings? Where you made to feel wrong or stupid? Was this the way it was between your parents so what you became used to. If not keep asking until you find some answers.

In hypnosis we can help with many of these feelings and it not only helps you but those around you and your relationships can improve which make you feel better from a different angle. If you’re interested in learning more see Irish Hypnosis Dun Laoghaire.

Can’t let go of a relationship

This is quite a common problem with people and it affects us differently. This depends of how the relationship ended but also on what type of personality you have. This has such a wide spectrum from feeling sad to murder in the extreme cases.

So what is it for you? Do you feel hard done by, after all that work you put into it and now he or she has ended it? You have wasted so many years and if they think they can just walk away without any consequences then they have another thing coming. They are just confused because we are soul mates and they just need to be reminded of that. Feeling angry all the time, If I can’t have them then nobody will.

Obviously that’s just a few but it covers the spectrum. Before we look at that in more detail lets imagine a scenario where the relationship was ended by the other party. There was no cheating with a third party they just didn’t see a future in it but you did.

How would this make you feel? Depending on where you appear on that spectrum it will range from hurt, let down, rejected and angry. I’m not asking you to excuse any behaviour but just think about how they react to things. Have you ever had one of those moments where you said to yourself oh now I know why he reacts like that? Maybe after seeing their parents do something or a story from their childhood.

They are who they are based on their programme and that programme will run from their birth to the day they die. Depending on the information we accept or reject the new information and the programme changes or stays the same. The difficulty of accepting new information will be a different post.

Now you may be able to see your ex a little differently but the main point of this is the reverse is also true! What is in your programme that would make you feel as if you can’t live without them? For most of us we go and get drunk with our friends or pig out.

For others it’s like a never ending cycle of question’s which you can’t answer with any certainty. In hypnosis we can help you to see it differently and to show you how to dump/let go and give all the negative stuff back. This is done in your mind so you can really let go in a safe environment. This is fantastic and I would recommend everyone should get this done for different issues.

If you are feeling rejected and it starts to affect you badly like depression we may need to go back further and see if you have had other experiences of it, possibly you may have felt or perceived you were rejected a parent or loved one. In a case like this we may use regression to desensitise past events and then use anger release and forgiveness.

If you feel as if you can’t go on or if violence is on your mind you need to see someone before it gets out of hand. The same applies to you, why do I feel this way? The answer is probably a lot deeper and at a much younger age than you imagine. For more information see our home page, Dun Laoghaire Hypnosis.

Suicide how to

The title may shock some people but it shouldn’t. If you are feeling suicidal then you may be looking for safe and certain ways to do it. If you are one of these people looking for a way then you need to ask why. Why do I feel this way?

Before I continue let me say you are not alone and with the right help you can put this behind you.

Even If you’re worried you’re psychotic or going through psychosis and the odds are that you’re not as the worldwide incidence of schizophrenia is 1%. Even if you were there is help available that can make your life better long term. There is a big difference between voices telling you to do things and the self-dialog we have in our own minds but in heightened emotional states we can wonder and if we are depressed this can warp our thinking. If you are worried seek help and that will be your first step to a better life.

If you’re depressed you may not want to die but you may want it to end. The end result is the same but the way you think about it is different. You may wake up in the morning and feel pain because it is all too much. Another day in what seems like an endless repetition in pain. For others is just a feeling of hopelessness and for others no feeling at all.

Depression is something we see a lot of in hypnotherapy and we have a high success rate in helping people. If you’re thinking “I have too many things wrong with me nobody can help” then that is something we hear a lot off. If we use a mental image or metaphor of an onion, let’s say the onion is your problems. We work with the biggest shell first and work inwards tackling one thing at a time.

If you would be interested in talking then you can ring for an appointment here or with a therapist nearby. If you call here our first meeting will be a consultation where we can talk and work out how best to help you. This is usually within 4-6 sessions. It’s a safe bet we have heard a similar story and we do not judge we only help. For more information on hypnosis see our home page Dun Laoghaire Hypnosis.

If your still think that the people in my life would be better off if you were no longer around, that it would be a shock but they will get over it and I won’t be a burden to anyone anymore. You’re wrong! We treat people who are so torn apart by guilt at what has happened, why didn’t they see it coming, what if I had done something differently. If I only listened, maybe it’s my fault; I must be a bad person. The list goes on!

One more time, lean on them and be clear in what you tell them. For example “I’m sorry for the pain I’ve caused, I can’t go on much longer I need help. Will you help me finding the help I need”. Change this but be clear and if you need to say I’m sorry say it, as it has an effect on the listener.

If you have nobody to lean on then don’t wait, search for a certified therapist in your area and make the earliest appointment. We see the changes in people all the time; unfortunately this is all too common in our practices. There is hope and there are people who care and I can guarantee you that because I’m one of them.

Angry all the time

We have spoken about snapping at people and some of the reasons this may happen. You can read more on that in the post How to stop snapping at people. If you are feeling angry during your day you will need to see if this is justified or if the anger seems to be bubbling underneath all the time.

Say for example you go into work and you’re angry during the day and you hate the place and maybe some of the people. You will need to look at that way in a calm detached way. Does the job create something you fundamentally disagree with? Do they promote something that just sits wrong with you? Has the staff or management treated you unfairly or to the point of bullying?

You see where I’m going with this, is there a logical reason why you feel this way. If not, we will look at that lower down. But say there is, if it’s related to your morals it may be time to think of a change. If you can’t then you will need to look at the positives, maybe write a list. For example this job puts food on the table for my family; it pays the pills and keeps a roof over your head etc.

If you have an issue, say your manager dropped you in it or should have taken your side when they didn’t. In truth they may have done something once and it may have been bad but if you keep reliving it with feeling then you’re doing it to yourself. Ask the question, is it hurting them or you? It’s you so you need to be able to let that go which will feel like a weight of your shoulders.

In hypnosis we can help you offload that anger and help you relax so not only do you feel better in the same situation but throughout your day.

If on the other hand your anger is just always present there may be a deeper reason for this. As human beings we run of a programme that starts the day we are born until the day we die. If you have unresolved issues even from an early age they can follow you and cloud your judgement. Have you heard of rose tinted glasses, when imagine the reverse. It may be how you see life or how you see yourself. Either way hypnosis can help, by finding the root of the problem and desensitising it. This is a process and takes on average between 4 and 6 sessions. For more look at our home page Dun Laoghaire Hypnosis.

How to stop snapping at people

If you find yourself snapping at people on rare occasions I wouldn’t worry too much. Life happens to all of us and we can have bad days. These can be caused by ill health like a cold or flu. Lack of sleep can also have adverse effects on us and then of course life can seem to throw obstacles at us.

Theses should be short lived and forgotten unless you need to make an apology. If so make your apology and then forget about it and let it go.

If on the other hand it seems to be constant then you need to examine it closer. If it’s happening with your partner, see can you see any patterns. For example, are you having a good day, looking forward to seeing him then when he walks in the door and you see his face it just overtakes you. This works exactly the same if you reverse the sexes or same sex.

Sometimes when we have heated arguments over a period of time we can create patterns. I’m angry (a heightened state of emotion) I see his face and it happens again and again and again. We can create a pattern so as above your having a great day and you see his face and the next thing you know you’re arguing again.

In hypnosis we can use what we call anger release and forgiveness to help you overcome the built up anger towards someone. This only requires you as the work is done in your mind. This also works for ex-relationships or where you were treated badly in your past. You know those situations where you relive a negative event or keep asking why and try to figure it out again and again.

If this relates to you give us a call and let the anger go. If this does not match your situation I will posting other scenarios that may help you. If you are worried call and if nothing else we can try to put your mind at ease. Find more information when you visit our home page Dun Laoghaire Hypnosis